I am growing weary

I hate Colville. I wish it wasn't even on the map. I need to vent. Okay I'm too rough on the small town I really hate the distance. If Colville was really near Lacey or Graham or Elby it wouldn't even be so bad. But it is. It's 360 miles each way. This "promotion" is getting old. We are paying a small amount of rent for Joe to live there, add the cost of gas for him to drive home on the weekends and the fact that we now have someone to help with the chillins so I can actually see my husband every once in a while and remember what he looks like, oh and he no longer gets King County pay and this "promotion" is costing us over $1000 a month. Sigh.

I hate the fact that my house is still is a state of repair. Now don't try and make me feel better and say well every one's house is in a state of repair. I want a sink. I want cabinets in the laundry room. I want someone to take in the garbage cans. I want someone to talk about the day with and not a quick 7 minute call at the end of a long day. I want someone to help with bath time. I want someone to eat dinner with. I want someone to tell me this will be over soon. Really soon. I am growing weary.

Elise pointed to a family picture yesterday, she specifically pointed at Joe and said, "I miss that guy." Oh how I ached for her and "that guy."

If I hate Colville this much I can only imagine how much Joe hates it.

Just one of those days.

Thought about erasing this and just keep plugging along but no this is how I really feel. Actually HATE is not a strong enough word.

Joe asked me the other day, what are we suppose to learn from all of this? We already appreciate one another, we got lesson down 4 or 5 months ago. So what is it??

Had to see that others are worse off. I have it pretty good. Health, happy kiddos, a great hubby, a job I tolerate, a merciful God, a supportive group of friends and family that I'll claim. This quote made me giggle out loud.

"Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty-five years and you pay it back and then -- one day -- you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then -- one day -- you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe.”
Denis Leary

March marks 6 months since Joe started in Colville. Here's praying we won't see it through to the next 6. Hoping we are closer to him being home than that little devil on our shoulder is telling us.